There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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