Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
