In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
