Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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