i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
