the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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