i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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