and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
