thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
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