my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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