Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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