have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she looked like the before picture.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My day in three words: secret purse cake
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
