need another drink. this is the easiest way
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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