remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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