jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
