i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
