i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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