we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
