so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just gift wrapped bread.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
