The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Actions speak louder than pants.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
