guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
All I want is dick and wine.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
