True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
