If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
