After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
