using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
