Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize