Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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