in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You made out with two different species that night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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