she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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