I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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