i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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