Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
