There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
