Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
