ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize