Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
