I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Randomize
