I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
