we have officially lost it.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
