OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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