the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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