brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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