Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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