Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize