i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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