You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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