I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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