Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
