i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
