If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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