i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
