This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
