is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
