I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
