Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
