Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize