I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
