driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
