apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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