the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
