my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
