i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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