Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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