What a fucking waste of an outfit
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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