like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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