yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
