Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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