i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
