I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize