I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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