hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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