We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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