i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
